I have a problem. I wouldn’t say I’m in a pickle. More like a vinegarized cucumber.

“Unless I’m at a wedding, I don’t like veiled threats.”

“I am a people person, and I know how to make people feel comfortable, especiall…”

“I've decided to donate my arsenal of machine guns to a hunting charity. That sh…”

“I haven't personally met God yet, but when I do, I'll ask him if he still belie…”