I have a secret secret admirer. Not only is her identity a secret—but so is the fact that she admires me.


“If I started yesterday, I’d be a master of tomorrow.”

“The equator is a sign of equality, splitting the earth into two equal halves. U…”

“I’m so lonely, I just need somebody to call me—even if it’s a wrong number. I’m…”

“The closest my penis has come to my sexy coworker’s vagina, is piss splatters o…”