I heard my friend’s car wouldn’t start, so I mailed him a parking lot. I should be a politician.

“I’m forced to shower in the closet, because my friend is wearing all my clothes…”

“A meme, what is it? Is it a doubly selfish cultural reference that’s all about …”

“I took some naked pictures the other day. I don’t feel shamed, but I do feel re…”

“If I can just find my wife’s foot under the covers, I know everything will be O…”