I just bought a small condo overlooking the water. The water is in a cup, one floor below my unit.

“I’ve always felt that the best place to hide a body is in the trunk of a cop ca…”

“I want to have a punctuation mark on my face. I’d like to shape my mustache int…”

“I’ve got an up-to-the-minute block of 60 seconds. It’s on the kitchen counter t…”

“I wish somebody would have told my grandpa about the Cold War, so he could have…”