I just wrote the book of love. Well, I coauthored it with Cupid and Nicholas Sparks.

“When thinking about yesterday, contrasted with today, I can’t help but observe …”

“I gave her a Boston cream pie, even though we were in Seattle at the time.”

“A blanket could be used to cover my couch. Nobody should see that I constructed…”

“I am illiterate. Just not in English.”