I keep a fish in each pocket, and one in my left shoe, so I don’t drown in your love.

“If someone invited you to a flash mob, would you wear a bra?”

“The police seemed to think I killed her, which is crazy, because I loved her li…”

“There’s truth and honor in a mustache. And that’s why I started flying one on t…”

“I like wearing gloves made of cheese (Swiss), and then going around asking elde…”