I keep my socks in a filing cabinet, if that tells you what kind of lover I am.

“Pound-for-pound, I’m the best non-fighter in the world. I could kick Gandhi’s a…”

“I had a dream where I drank my own grandma. What she was doing disguised as a b…”

“The event happened on my birthday. I don’t remember the date, I only know it wa…”

“A blanket could be used to say hello to a friend I haven’t spoken to in forever…”