I keep my valuable things locked up. Everybody does. Therefore, criminals must be valuable.

“I will never buy a fish tank, because I don't believe in supporting the funding…”

“I surround myself with salt, so it soaks up the humidity from my steamy solo lo…”

“Today I’m feeling uncharacteristically chiaroscuro, and I don’t know what that …”

“If instead of saucers, UFOs looked more like breasts, I’ll bet there’d be a lot…”