I know a woman loves me when she leaves me leftovers in the fridge from the date she went on the night before.

“I went through and underlined all the funny lines in his book, and by the time …”

“Music enters through the ear, not the penis hole. This is probably a common mis…”

“I called for backup, but they didn’t put the car in reverse.”

“One Mormon can do the job of many more men. I should know, because I was born i…”