I know that man started animal husbandry thousands of years ago, and I think it’s disgusting. Men and animals should never be allowed to marry. Or have sex. And maybe not even engage in necking, unless it’s a man and a giraffe.

“Love is a winding mountainous road. Do you have an extra unicycle and handlebar…”

“I don't know where to look for jobs, so I think I'll check out the unemployment…”

“There’s a witch in Wichita. As an expert on all things Topeka, I should know. I…”

“I’m in the Just Under A Decade club. That’s how long it took me to get a four-y…”