I left a jar in the doorway to leave the door ajar, but love never walked in.

“Mosquito snobs sit on STOP signs trying to get out all the red.”

“A brick could be used to bring about a pantsless revolution. A zipper is just a…”

“I once made love to a taco shell stuffed with rancid meat and watery tomato bit…”

“To me, a good friend is one who doesn't talk, but who listens all the time. Som…”