I like eye contact, but please don’t blink when my eyeballs are touching yours.

“One blanket, coupled with a fluffy pillow, could be implemented as a torture de…”

“I love nature. It beats having to flush.”

“I cleaned out my belly button last night, and I found the meaning of life. Gosh…”

“I have failed, and I should bury my failure. I need a trowel (it was a small fa…”