I like wearing a blindfold while watching movies, so that I can focus on the dialogue. My favorite flicks are the silent movies.

“I want a one-bedroom house with cup holders. I want to live in my car, and make…”

“I was part of a focus group once, but to be honest, I couldn’t concentrate.”

“Fornication: Do it for the kids. Just not at their birthday parties.”

“It doesn’t matter if I don’t have a suit, you should still invite me swimming. …”