I like wearing earth tones, and ties with little shovels stitched on. I stitched them on myself.

“I make love like I sell sausages to strange women. One at a time, and always co…”

“Dear Ian, I felt good. I felt like a Christian to the T. Also to the Chris, Ian.”

“When I think about all the thinking I’ve done, I get sleepy, like a coffee-colo…”

“I’d rate myself five stars, and those stars would all be fish. My review was of…”