I lost a little weight over the weekend. I cut my fingernails.

“I'm off to my first Toastmaster meeting. You know, motivational speaking is a m…”

“Mounting anything on a plaque instantly transforms it from trash into an award.…”

“Love is 3:33 am plus 360 degrees plus 365 days, minus 12:34 pm. I ought to know…”

“I want to invent a Laughometer, a device to measure and gauge humor, which woul…”