I love having a ceiling fan, although sometimes I wish he wouldn't cheer so loud when I'm trying to sleep.

“I make love like the desert. Ever implemented a cactus during foreplay?”

“A book on war is useful, but it’d be even more useful if it could shoot bullets…”

“The basketball team was trailing by three points. I trail by four points—north,…”

“Bricks could be used to neatly pack your suitcase. It would promote personal st…”