I love pan pizza. I love pans. I love Peter Pan. I love Peter, but not as much as I love Paul. As you can see, I have a lot of love—and between now and Christmas it’s all at a 33.3% reduced price.

“I collect collectivisms. I’ve already got socialism and communism, and all I ne…”

“There are only two kinds of books worth keeping: Valuable books and valuable bo…”

“You don’t need brass knuckles to discover if a man has a glass jaw. All you nee…”

“I once got attacked by a bearskin rug, two days before it was a rug.”