I made plans out of hope, expectation, desire, and duct tape, and I broke those plans with my bare hands.

“I would be up for a sail, but my boat is up for sale. I think I’m going to stay…”

“Sleep with family is a napkin (nap plus kin), and I used a napkin as a blanket.
”

“If I’m having a conversation with my clone, am I having an interior dialogue ex…”

“Who’d cum first, you or your clone? To find out, why don’t you go fuck yourself?”