I make believe like asexuals make love—alone, with cardboard tubes.

“We’ve got a tortilla chip type of love. So am I to blame if I’m looking for a l…”

“He’s being silent again. Tell him to be quiet.”

“The customs of the customers should be custom designed by me, and sold to the b…”

“If you were to talk about your nose, I’d take everything you’d say at face valu…”