I make love like a flamethrower would make a good ice machine. But that’s OK, because I like ice water.

“Please, allow me a moment to put my penis back where it belongs. I should never…”

“I have always loved camping, ever since I was eight, and was forcibly stuffed i…”

“I wrote a song called "Stinky Sodomite." It isn't a pop song, a historical song…”

“A fire truck is just a drivable penis. The flames of my love might engulf you, …”