I meant to spend the day writing, but instead I spent the afternoon cleaning out my belly button. Historians will thank me one day.

“When the silent flamingo dances pink with desire, I’ll be there, sipping on owl…”

“A blanket could be used to cover up my leftover meatloaf. But I’m not intereste…”

“I called for backup, but they didn’t put the car in reverse.”

“A blanket could be drenched in water, frozen, and then enjoyed like a giant cot…”