I need either a small coffee or a large nap.

“This is the true story of my life, as told by a complete liar (me). While that …”

“How many midgets does it take to take over the world? I’m not sure, but I’d gue…”

“The most deadly combination known to man is low IQ and high testosterone.”

“A brick could be used to test my new levitation machine. Still, I’d rather test…”