I once went toe to toe with an international thumb war champion.

“In 50 years, I’m going to tell my grandchildren, “Back when I was growing up we…”

“The elevator wasn’t empty; it was full of fragrance. The perfume that lingered …”

“There are whiskers in my soup, and my spoon smells like my cat’s ass.”

“Men are from vaginas, and women are from women.”