I only need to write about 3,000 one-liners a day to produce a million jokes a year. Simple. I’ll just get started after I take a nap.

“There may be a sucker born every minute, but every 30 seconds a lollipop pops o…”

“I am three forks away from eating all your food with two homeless guys. It’s to…”

“A condom prevents life. A gun takes life. Would a condom over the barrel of a g…”

“The police called it choking, but I called it a two-handed neck hug. That’s how…”