I ought to fire one of my two employees into the other one’s asshole.

“I don’t need a steak knife to cut my meat. That’s why karate chops were created…”

“I did a face plant. Ivy was her name.”

“I like the name Lola, because it has LOL in the beginning.”

“I would suggest aboulia isn’t frequently spelled abulia, because I doubt it’s f…”