I run a Falconi Four operation out of my garage. If you’re not familiar with Vegas, you wouldn’t know what it is (it originated in Reno during the Falconi Reno Reign of Terror).

“The proof is in the putting. But it’s sexier to be taking off (just don’t take …”

“I dove in feet first. I like to dive in feet before I dive in hands, because I …”

“Birthdays are like politicians. I don’t like any of them, but they still keep c…”

“My armpits are not only rank, but they’re ranked number one in customer satisfa…”