I saw her from afar. The game was afoot. I had astiffy.

“I can’t swim, because despite my love being shaped like Michael Phelps, it’s so…”

“People don’t know what I’ve gone through to get where I’m at—six tunnels and th…”

“I can’t sell sex for money, but what if I change sex’s name to food? Then can I…”

“I’m a thief. What can I say, I’ve got sticky fingers. I robbed a sperm bank. Bu…”