I saw him do a No More Potatoes Dance, after he saw me stuff the last of the mashed potatoes in my pocket.


“I want to name one of my kids “I’ll-Have-A-Large-Cheeseburger.” That way, when …”

“I love mankind. And by mankind I mean women.”

“A brick could be used to stop people from reading my book. Just place the brick…”

“I’d hate to be forced to drink my own vomit without throwing up, because what i…”