I sleep on the coasts of my bed, but I make love in the Midwest.

“My friend Angela, she’s no angel. But my friend Demonica, she’s aptly named.”

“I haven't met many lawyers that I didn't like. But then again, I haven't met ma…”

“I like watching baseball as much as my grandma’s left ear is loud. (She’d proba…”

“The world has genetically modified opinions, but mine are organic. Taste them a…”