I want a beard as white as snow, and two feet deep.

“I’m not in the system. I’m starting to question my own existence.”

“We made love like Tuesday at noon, even though it was Thursday at 3:00, and the…”

“Stacks of vitamins in a soapy sink. Shh, don’t talk to me while I think. Don’t …”

“The only time I’ll eat Italian wedding soup is if I’m wearing a tuxedo and eati…”