I want to assure you, I’m not that kind of pervert. But don’t worry, goat lady, there’s somebody for everybody. Or anybody for nobody. Maybe I have that backwards, and upside down.

“A rubber band is attached to a lever. Pull on the lever to increase the tension…”

“I have to put up a wall to put up with him. Not an invisible, metaphoric emotio…”

“As we were walking home the other night, Orafoura turned to me and said, “Were …”

“My penis is so long that my urethra—not including my bladder—just my urethra, c…”