I want to be a man of letters. All 26 of them.

“I loved her like elephants like remembering stuff. Those bastards just won’t le…”

“Your writing can be chosen by one publisher and hated by all readers, or it can…”

“When someone asks me if I was born in a barn, I always give them a long face. A…”

“I wear a mustache, both as a disguise—and as a cooter tickler.”