I want to invent a What does it do? machine. “What does it do?” you’re probably wondering. Well, I’ll tell you. What it does is makes you wonder: What does it do?

“I want to open up a counter-culture club. It’ll be anti-established in 2012.”

“Me and my clones will form a band called The Eels. I’ll be one of the most elec…”

“I had a dream about you. You told me you loved me, and then you stabbed me with…”

“I remember the first time we made love like it was the second time. We never ma…”