I want to make a coffee table that consists of a slab of wood supported by four crutches. That way, if a guest ever comes up to me and says, "I accidentally broke one of the legs on your coffee table," I could respond, "Don't worry, those legs are self-healing.

“If love fell in love with another word, do you think that word would smell, tas…”

“Her name is Denise, and she has green eyes and red hair. Well, this week. Last …”

“Some people collect stamps, while I collect letters. My favorite ones are the r…”

“It’s good if you think bad thoughts, because at least you’re thinking. That’s m…”