I want to move to Hollywood and audition for parts just so I can say, “I’m not an actor. I just play one on TV.

“I have a star on Hollywood Blvd. It glows in the dark and I stuck it there myse…”

“We made love like Tuesday at noon, even though it was Thursday at 3:00, and the…”

“My parents always said that knowledge was the best gift they could give me, pro…”

“The only nutritional sustenance I need is praise, flattery, and potassium in th…”