I want to write a song called “Two Straws and a Spoon,” about one man being cuckolded by a milkshake.

“I collect sounds. I store most of them in my ears, but some, like the sneeze, I…”

“A brick could be used to keep thieves away from your house. Just set a brick ou…”

“I clench your love in my butt cheeks, along with all my hard-earned cash.”

“When I sing, it sounds like I’m gargling spaghetti. Is it any wonder that women…”