I was fashionably late in my unfashionable clothes.

“Maturity doesn’t advance linearly, like you steadily and readily becoming more …”

“When push comes to shove, I’m going to figure out that this door needs to be pu…”

“It's really hard to drive, talk on the phone, and jack off at the same time. An…”

“I’m too busy to chew. That’s why I blend all my meals into smoothies, and I mak…”