I was forced to eat crow. I was so embarrassed that I would have eaten any other bird, including ostrich.

“There’s not a person alive who is ugly. Now dead people, they disgust me.”

“The two spoons were stuck together. Not because they were sticky, but because t…”

“She wasn’t gung ho, but she was Gung’s ho. There’s no love lost between them, b…”

“Sounds have smells. Your father smells, and he’s noisy.”