I was in Love once. I think I stayed at a Holiday Inn. Or maybe I was in Loveland, Co. But either way it felt great to be so directionless and unaware of my surroundings and so utterly lost.

“One of your siblings has got to be the dumbest. And if you’re an only child—you…”

“Love sounds like an elephant weighs. I know, because I’ve seen it with my own t…”

“A brick could be used to stop war. Logically, a non-brick could be used to star…”

“My grandpa doesn’t even have a grand to his name.”