I watch baseball on TV like my cat watches the window. Somebody open the blinds so we can see better!

“I love like a leaf in the wind. Please, hold your applause until the end of the…”

“You wouldn’t try to mow your lawn with an electric razor, like it was a green b…”

“It’s possible that I couldn’t handle the truth, but I sure wouldn’t mind fondli…”

“I think coffee is the best drink known to man. I also think that wine is the be…”