I went to a gun range and shot a man made out of paper. That paper man must have had a brother, and I fear one day that paper man’s brother is going to shoot me while I am laying flat on my back.

“Love with all your heart. And the rest of your body. Oh, and your mind, too.”

“Leave your village, and conquer yourself before you conquer the world. That’s w…”

“I saw a mummy in a movie once, and I’ve got to say I love George Harrison’s sty…”

“This is the true story of my life, as told by a complete liar (me). While that …”