I would be up for a sail, but my boat is up for sale. I think I’m going to stay inside and play with homophones until the exterminators finish fumigating.

“I’ve been writing for about eleven years. I went from elfish to elephantish, an…”

“A triangle has three points, just like the number of horns my ex had (she was 5…”

“A brick can and should be used as a telephone, because that way I won’t feel so…”

“A blanket could be used to make you laugh, and a joke could be used to keep you…”