I would rather make love than war, but only because condoms kill millions of lives more enjoyably.

“I asked her to wear something revealing, so she showed up in a prophet's toga.”

“When I was growing up, I’d walk to school in the snow. In Florida. Uphill all t…”

“A plan won’t fly without dedication, perseverance, or wings. A plane won’t fly …”

“I crossed a time zone and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling west, I c…”