I wrote my name on the list 10 years ago, and under the date I wrote “In the future.” But how’d I know I’d show up, and not my clone posing as me?

“Love is like a blanket: it will keep you warm, but it might also suffocate you.…”

“I didn’t chug the hairspray because I’m an alcoholic. I drank it to style my th…”

“I want to write a song about the only girl I’ve ever loved. And the chorus will…”

“If my name were Entist, I’d probably be a dentist. If my name were Dennis, I’d …”