I wrote something for my local newspaper, but nobody read it because it got buried in the obituary section.

“I make love with my eyes closed, because I make love in my dreams. If you wante…”

“A brick could be used as a doorstop. But that’s obvious. What isn’t obvious is …”

“What I want more than a car that goes from Point A to Point B, is a car that st…”

“The indignity of having to wear suntan lotion pales in comparison to getting sk…”