I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

“It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd …”

“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book…”

“When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, t…”

“When I was a kid we had a sandbox. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child.…”