I’d love to create a personal profile on a dating site with a headline that reads, “Great Listener Seeks Mute Woman.

“I’d never own a Hooters, because while I may be the face of the franchise, peop…”

“You can tell a lot about a man by his shoes, like if he’s barefoot or not.”

“For your birthday, I got you a box. Hooray! It’s empty, so you can fill it with…”

“I loved all the words in his book—just not in the order he arranged them, or th…”