I’d love to try to sell a blank white canvas to an art dealer. And when he asks what it is, I’d tell him, “It’s a landscape painting of Key West, from the perspective of an optimistic blind man.

“I was going to change my clothes, but I changed my mind instead.”

“Bricks could be used to make a billion dollars. It’s easy! All you need to do i…”

“It was May 2009, and I didn’t like where the economy was headed. (I wished the …”

“The girl I am in love with told me she’s moving on. Should I cry, or go to Jax …”