I’d paint with a beard if I could grow out of my abstract expressionist phase.

“You can tell a lot about a man by his shoes, like if he’s barefoot or not.”

“My brain is an amazing machine. Too bad I can’t take credit for it. As brillian…”

“A high five is a two-person applause. Me and my clone will be excited to clap f…”

“I’ll insist my competitor is the greatest, so that when I beat him, I won’t be …”