I’d rather have nobody to say anything to, than have nothing to say to anybody.

“Is that a vagina in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?”

“You know what I like most about people? Pets.
”

“Siamese twins have it great because one can jack off while the other talks dirt…”

“If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I reminded them of Orafoura’s …”